When I wrote my post about Slither, I mentioned that I wasn’t a great fan of the zombie genre, mostly because the zombies themselves are rarely the real threat. Most zombie stories – indeed, most “apocalypse” stories in general – are about what happens when civilization is stripped away. 90+% of the time, the answer to that is chaos. Only the most brutal and violent survive, and they take what they want from the soft and civilized, because that is the true nature of humanity. We are the monsters.
Except that we never would have invented civilization in the first place if that were really our nature.
Cracked makes that point in greater depth in:
(Incidentally, if you want to read their classic article about why a zombie outbreak would never become an “apocalypse” in the first place, check it out here. I love World War Z as much as anyone, but Max Brooks had to cheat like hell to make his collapse plausible, and he’s more honest and skillful than most.)
As long as you’re at Cracked, check out 28 Celebrities With Amazing Secret Talents, because people are never limited to what you know about them, and it would be nice to have some of those surprises be non-horrible for once. I was particularly surprised and impressed by Johnny Cash and Flavor Flav.
Next up is our next installment of The Horrors of It All. Once again, it’s a double feature: The Thing That Devoured A Planet/It Came From Beneath The Earth. The first makes an utter hash of the Theory of Relativity, but it makes a good cosmic horror story nonetheless. The second is just the kind of goofy fun that those old horror comics loved.
And now, last but not least:
Have you ever heard of Vivian James?
She’s the mascot of #Gamergate. She’s supposed to represent the perfect gaming girl, the kind that isn’t interested in all this inclusivity and representation bullshit, she just wants to play Vidya Games (see where she got her name?). Nothing wrong with that, as far as it goes (though it seems odd to think that using a fictional female mouthpiece will somehow make the horrible things you do to real women okay), but #Gamergaters being the kind of people they are, it was about five seconds before they took this character, who they often spoke of with doting affection as their daughter, and started making porn of her. Hell, even in the original version (the green and purple one), her clothing is a reference to an obscure 4chan rape joke.
It wasn’t long before we white knights and Social Justice Warriors started to feel sorry for the poor kid. So finally, one of us went and wrote the comic about what we’d all like to do: