Everybody Run, The Homecoming Queen Has Got…

Everybody Run Cover

Homecoming queen Deborah von Teufelsblut did some pretty nasty things to get her tiara, and now that she has it, things are getting even nastier. Yes, Debbie’s picking off the cheerleaders one by one, but not in the way you think. Debbie is doing this rampage for Johnny, but in the end, Johnny may have called up something he can’t put down.

The story of the worst high school social faux pas ever is now available at Amazon.  As always, completely free on Kindle Unlimited.

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Those of you of a certain age may recognize this story as being based on a certain novelty song and video from the very earliest days of MTV, back when they played videos and the idea of a student massacring a school seemed unlikely enough to joke about (granted, the Homecoming Queen as the perp is still an unlikely scenario):

Of course, today school shootings are pretty much impossible to joke about (it was pretty black humor even then).  But as I was revisiting this fond memory, I thought about possibilities: what if this dark joke was covering up something else?  Giving the world an acceptable answer for something whose real answer they don’t want to know?  For the answer to that, check below the fold…

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October 14, 1983

 

Homecoming queen Deborah von Teufelsblut stood on the stage, beaming down on her Homecoming subjects and waving like she’d seen some queen from some foreign country do on the news one time, you know with the just turning the wrist? She was a vision in pink chiffon, with her tiara threaded into her platinum locks (freshly bleached for the occasion) and a huge bouquet – a gift from the most wonderful boy in the world – cradled in her non-waving arm.

The band was playing “Evergreen” and she was just about to begin her acceptance speech when suddenly, that stupid, four-eyed, pimple-face geek Bethie Anderson – the one with the antenna attached to her teeth – screamed “Everybody look out! The Homecoming queen’s got a gun!”

Oh, poop.

Debi blasted the little antenna-headed freak with a Bolt of Nishboleth, but it was already too late. So much for the big show with the speech and everything. Who knew that a mousy little nobody could have The Sight? Maybe that stupid headgear was like radar or something…

Guess her Sight needed some Coke-bottle glasses, too, though, Debi thought, taking comfort in spite as she picked off the cheerleaders one by one.

I mean, she knew I was about to do something dangerous

Buffy’s pom-poms blew into bits. Those huge, overstuffed pom-poms that she was always shaking at Johnny. Cow.

But a GUN? Oh, please!

Mitzi’s head did the splits, her brains prying her skull open with spinal-cord tentacles and skittering to attack other dance-goers. Slut.

She sent the mascot tumbling over a table with an Unholy Touch of Warrang, his internal organs flying away from her at escape velocity and his face melting inside that stupid squirrel head.

She…just pointed at that football player. Huh. Wonder why he fell down like that. Must’ve fainted.

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For the rest of the story, check it out on Amazon.  Just $0.99, and as always, free on Kindle Unlimited.  And as always, while you’re there, consider checking out the rest of the library.

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