Kaiju and the Military Part 2

So I finally got some answers to the question I asked in my previous post, in the other forums where I posted it.  Several answers.  All of which amounted to: “Without the magical you-can’t-kill-me-until-the-climax powers, you get monster paste so fast that you couldn’t even make an eight-minute short, let alone a movie”.

While I knew that when I asked the original question (that’s why I specifically ruled out the can’t-kill-me-until-the-climax powers – I needed a baseline), I was amazed by just how many options there were for reducing a six hundred foot monster to slurry, and how easily it could be done.  For which I partially blame the movies themselves.  Those missile impacts that look like sparks against the kaiju‘s skin?  They should be engulfing it in a giant ball of fire.

This is why I get annoyed with so many horror and sci-fi stories – in all media – where they apply the “puny humans” trope with a sledgehammer.  Humans are actually very fucking dangerous, and if Godzilla can survive a hit from an accurately-depicted MOAB and come out unscathed (or even still breathing), that actually makes him significantly more impressive.

(Incidentally, those who acknowledge that humans are actually very fucking dangerous tend to jump straight to the nukes.  No, we actually do have settings between “Ineffective Small-Arms Fire” and “Tsar Bomba”, settings which will annihilate any monster without can’t-kill-me powers and still leave the city habitable.)

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3 Comments

Filed under Horror, Writing Theory

3 responses to “Kaiju and the Military Part 2

  1. Pingback: Two Interesting Links and an Interesting Picture | Dreams of the Shining Horizon

  2. Please forgive the mild thread necromancy (it’s close to Halloween, after all), but I wanted to argue with myself a little bit. As you know, I was one of the people who pointed out what modern armaments could do, and I still stand by that for the question you asked. However, I’m not sure we really established just how tough the big bad city-stompin’ monster was allowed to be.

    We’re already ignoring some real-world biological facts by letting something that big live, breathe, and move without being crushed by its own weight and not have to eat constantly to stay fueled. Combine that with the expectation that the critter is armored, dense, and built to a different scale than we are, it’s possible it could survive at least the early parts of a serious military assault.

    My inspiration for self-contradiction comes from seeing the Hulk get shot up by 20mm cannon fire in [i]The Avengers[/i]. Did it kill him? No. Did it hurt him and piss him off? Hell yes. Granted, Hulk’s full capabilities aren’t known, but we do know that, at a baseline, he’s tough enough to survive Banner putting a gun in his mouth and pulling the trigger, and can take a terminal-velocity fall. The madder Hulk gets, the stronger and tougher Hulk gets, and Marvel canon does not put a cap on what’s possible.

    While I still think that heavy artillery, shaped-charge warheads, and other BFGs would win the day against a daikaiju, it might be more of a pummeling than outright slaughter. Turning a creature’s entire surface area into one big bruise of raw hamburger would probably still be enough to make it say, “Screw you guys, I’m going home.” Extended battle would certainly kill it. I just wanted to admit the possibility that the fight wouldn’t be a matter of pushing one button I-win-you-lose.

    • The Hulk has comic book invulnerability, which is hard to quantify. It’s not based on armored skin, or dense muscle, or…anything, really. Superman is the same way. If you think about it, the Asgardians are an even weirder case. Thor can take a hit from the Hulk and keep coming, but he probably would have been swiss-cheesed by that bombardment from the plane. We do know that the Hulk has a Wolverine-level-or-better healing factor.

      Anyway, I guess this here is the key:

      We’re already ignoring some real-world biological facts by letting something that big live, breathe, and move without being crushed by its own weight and not have to eat constantly to stay fueled. Combine that with the expectation that the critter is armored, dense, and built to a different scale than we are

      My original question ruled out “magical, you-can’t-kill-me-until-the-climax tricks”, but the fact is, the fact that the daikaiju exists at all requires some amount of such tricks.

      I suspect that the weapons you originally described – I believe you mentioned a projectile the mass of a taxi cab? – would probably still amount to “pushing one button I-win-you-lose”…which is part of the reason the movies never show a naval bombardment, I suppose. That’s really what annoys me here: the movies go straight from small arms to nukes, with no acknowledgment that we have anything in between.

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